he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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