I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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