How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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