There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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