I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
