i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Less talking, more tequila
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
