is wine microwaveable?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize