Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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