I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
