My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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