What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
