using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
