Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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