Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
