Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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