I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
