what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
