I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
