I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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