We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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