Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
