I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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