I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
