I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
