Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
