One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
