there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
