I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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