In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
