If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
