If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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