im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
