Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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