Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
