i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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