I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
