I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
