So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
soo... how was my night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
