one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
