I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
