I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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