I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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