I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
