White coat. Heels.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize