I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i dont even know how to be here
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
