Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i need some magic done to my vagina
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
