I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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