I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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