Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
