i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
