that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Panties = found
Randomize
