3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just blew my weed a kiss
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
