weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
