Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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