We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
