ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
