Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
