That's when you crack a 10am beer
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
