Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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