i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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