guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
