so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
