11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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