Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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