it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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