Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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